Are there other forms of support?
The care described on this page is valid for the Dutch situation. Contact us, moms@reiniervanarkel.nl, if you have information that will help us map this out for other countries?
Getting help
On the page 'when and where do I go for help?’ you can read where to turn for help for you and your child. You may also have other questions, such as: Can I report it to the police? Am I entitled to financial support? Can I talk to other mums? Are there apps for relaxation exercises? This page contains answers to these questions.
Safety first
What do you do when you find out you're pregnant, but the sexual abuse is still going on? You and your unborn child will not be safe, and it is important that you are. If the sexual abuse happens in the home situation, please contact the Blijfgroep. The Blijfgroep is committed to helping victims of domestic violence. Sexual violence in the home situation is a form of domestic violence.
If you're not at home but are being held somewhere against your will, please contact Comensha. Comensha is a national organisation committed to stopping human exploitation. This organisation can put you in touch with safe care, (legal) guidance and support.
Reporting the matter to the police
Sexual violence is a criminal offence. You can report this to the police. This can be a tough decision. Maybe you know the perpetrator, or you're embarrassed. Remember, what happened to you should never have happened, and the perpetrator could be punished for it. You yourself are not punishable in the Netherlands for this! You can report it to the police up to 15 years after the event. If the perpetrator was a minor, this will be shorter. If you were a minor, you can file a report up to 15 years after you turned 18.
If you decide to file a report, you must make an appointment with the police. You can ask to be assisted by a female police officer, if you like. Call 0900-8844 and ask for a vice squad near you. The police have made a video about how they can help you and what happens when you report it.
Financial assistance
If you have experienced something traumatising like rape or sexual assault, this may cause so many problems that you can no longer work or you may even lose your job. Or you may have to pay high fees for therapy. Money problems can make it difficult to recover from traumatising events. As a victim of sexual violence, in some cases you may be entitled to money, for therapy or in case of loss of income.
Where can you go for financial assistance
Slachtofferhulp Nederland (Victim Support Netherlands)
Victim Support provides free support in coping with trauma and helps you claim compensation if possible. You can also call them if you want to talk about what happened to you. The organisation offers emotional support, legal assistance and can get you in touch with people who have had similar experiences. Call 0900-0101. They are available from Monday to Friday between 8.00 am and 8.00 pm and on Saturdays between 10.00 am and 5.00 pm.
Claims Fund for Violent Crimes (Schadefonds Geweldsmisdrijven)
The Claims Fund for Violent Crimes gives money to victims of violence. You may be eligible for a one-time payment, starting from €1,000 up to a maximum of €35,000. This also depends on whether you have filed a report or not. If you have any questions, you can contact the Claims Fund by telephone on (070)-4142000.
Please note: the Claims Fund only gives money if the rape or assault took place in the Netherlands. Other European countries often also have a claims fund. For advice, please contact (070)-4142000.
Victim Information Desk (Slachtofferloket)
The victim information desk can help you after you have filed a report. They provide advice, information and support during the process of your report. There are eleven victim information desks in the Netherlands: one for each region.
Material support
When you're expecting a baby, you need a lot of items. You may not have enough money to buy what you need. The organisation Stichting Babyspullen can help with a starter kit. This starter kit must be requested by an affiliated support organisation, obstetrician or maternity care organisation.
It is important to register your child with the Council within three days of birth. This can be done by someone who was present at the delivery, or an employee of the hospital where your baby was delivered.
For details, see the Dutch government's web page
If you are in the Netherlands illegally, your child still has rights. One organisation that knows a lot about this and can help you is Defence for Children.
Where can you go find support groups?
Blauwe Maan
Blauwe Maan organises support groups for girls and women, among others. During these meetings, you will discuss various themes with about eight other women, such as guilt and shame, setting boundaries and standing up for yourself. In total, you can participate in 12 2-hour meetings. Contact us on 013-5437501.
Talking Circles
Talking Circles organises support meetings for victims of sexual assault. You can indicate whether you prefer a women-only group. The meetings last 2.5 hours. You can choose how many meetings you participate in.
Stichting Seksueel Geweld
The website of Stichting Seksueel Geweld (Foundation for Victims of Sexual Assault) provides information about sexual assault and an overview with addresses where you can get help. You can also use this website to chat to other victims of sexual assault or with a private coach.
Go to Stichting Sexueel Geweld
Slachtofferhulp Nederland (Victim Support Netherlands)
If you need to get in touch with other victims of sexual assault online, you can join the Victim Support Community. You can chat online on a forum. You can share experiences, read others' experiences, and respond to them. Experts who have personal experience with this subject will help you on the forum and give you tips.
Online self-help
Do you often feel angry or tense? Do you want to practice relaxation techniques or receive tips for healthy eating? Below are several apps you can download on your phone, tablet or computer.
Online self-help
The Journey App
This app is made for people who have experienced a traumatic event. The app works like a game, and teaches you to get more control over your own life. This allows you to formulate goals and keep track of your emotions.
This app is not free and can be downloaded from the Google Play or AppStore.
More information about the app
SUPPORT Coach
It is important to learn to deal with problems and stress. This is tricky when you've been through a traumatic event. If you have more positive thoughts, less stress and you are better equipped to solve your problems, you will feel better and you will be able to function better. This app will help you do that.
This app is free and can be downloaded from the Google Play or App Store.
More information about the app
Headspace
This app in English will help you relax. It offers meditation and mindfulness exercises.
This app is free and can be downloaded from the Google Play store or App Store.
VGZ Mindfulness Coach App
This Dutch app will helps you to relax. It offers meditation and mindfulness exercises. This app helps you relax at set times by creating a weekly programme with you.
This app is free and can be downloaded from the Google Play or App Store